The Sand Hill Review          http://www.sandhillreview.org                   2000

 

 

ANATOMY LAB

 

                Samantha Marshall

 

 

INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING

 

CAMERA VIEW is a wide angle shot down a long, dimly lit hallway . . . in the distance, some figures appear . . . ANN, LYNN, BETH, PAUL, RAE, and KRISTIAN make their way to . . . CAMERA VIEW changes to a desk where a SECRETARY is typing.  The group waits for her to acknowledge them.  The SECRETARY continues her typing, oblivious to the others.

 

BETH

Excuse me.

 

The SECRETARY finally looks up, extremely annoyed.

 

BETH

We are here to turn in a nomination for the Stan K. Healy Teaching Award.

 

The SECRETARY picks up a form and pen.

 

SECRETARY

In what college does the professor teach?

 

BETH

The college of science.

 

SECRETARY

And what does he or she have his or her Ph.D. in?

 

BETH

(beat)  He doesn't have a Ph.D.  He has a Master's of Science in biology.

 

Looking even more annoyed, the SECRETARY puts down her form and pen, turning back to her computer.

 

SECRETARY

Then he doesn't qualify.

 

Reaction of EVERYONE.

 

PAUL

Come again?

SECRETARY

This award is for Ph.D.'s only.  Teaching assistants do not qualify.

 

ANN

He's not a teaching assistant.  WE are HIS teaching assistants.  He teaches the entire undergraduate human anatomy course on campus.

 

SECRETARY

(while typing)  If he doesn't have a Ph.D., he doesn't qualify.

 

PAUL

(getting angry)  Are you listening to what we are saying?  We are saying that we would put Tom against any Ph.D. on this campus.  No one has more dedication to teaching than he does.  This is a fucking teaching award, right?

 

KRISTIAN

(in a lowered voice) Come on Paul, this isn't going to help us.

 

SECRETARY

You will leave now or I will call campus police and have you removed.

 

EVERYONE leaves.  As they round the corner . . .

 

PAUL (V.O.)

You might consider getting laid soon.  It might improve your disposition.

 

EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS

 

A thunderstorm is brewing . . . lightning flashes across a dark blue-gray sky . . .

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

PAUL and LYNN are sitting in chairs.  RAE is standing next to them.

 

LYNN

Man, I can't believe that shit.

 

 

 

 

RAE

We shouldn't be surprised.  It's not like this is the first time Tom has been overlooked because of his educational background.

 

BETH, ANN, and KRISTIAN enter the lab through the main door with sodas for themselves and the others.  BETH, ANN, and KRISTIAN each throw a can at the same time and PAUL, LYNN, and RAE each catch one at the same time.

 

BETH

(opening her diet cola)  Look, guys, I know you are all disappointed . . .

 

PAUL

I'm beyond disappointed . . . I'm completely pissed off . . .

 

BETH

. . . but there's nothing we can do about it.  (beat)  Let's just have a quick, but productive meeting, then go to Klaus' place and watch a movie.

 

BETH crosses to the front of the lab.  EVERYONE sits down.

 

BETH

Is Nat going to make it?

 

ANN

Highly doubtful.

 

BETH

Tom should be here soon . . . (picks up a piece of paper and peruses it) . . . let's get started . . . are we having any trouble with the apprentice TA's?

 

EVERYONE looks at each other, waiting for someone to speak.  ANN and LYNN shake their heads "no."

 

BETH

(looking around the room)  Great . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAUL

I just have one comment.  Has anyone else noticed that Natalia's training time with her apprentices is getting shorter and shorter?  I spent 3-4 hours with mine getting them ready for next week's lab and she was done in one. 

 

ANN

I only witnessed the one time, but Belissa, one of Nat's apprentices, approached me just yesterday and asked if she could join me when I have my apprentices go through their demos because she doesn't feel comfortable teaching them . . . even after meeting with Nat.

 

BETH

(beat)  Tom has too many other projects right now to worry about this problem.  We should talk to Nat ourselves and tell her that she needs to spend more time teaching the demos to her apprentices.

 

ANN

I know Belissa would appreciate it . . . by the way, we should think about nominating her for one of our positions when we leave next spring . . . she's really bright and the students like her teaching . . .

 

RAE

The only problem with that is that she is applying to physical therapy school . . . like me . . . and with her GPA, volunteer time, and the way she presents herself, she'll probably be starting PT school in the fall . . .

 

ANN

What about Mike . . . he’s also really bright and he’ll be around . . . he’s not applying for medical school for another year . . .

 

BETH

(writing on the paper)  OK . . . Belissa or Mike for a regular position . . .

 

As BETH writes, TOM enters through the main lab door.

 

 

TOM

Hi, everyone.  Sorry I'm late.  (sits)  I've been talking with some of the other professors in the building about that area they’ve been landscaping over the past semester . . . it turns out that the administration hired a professional artist to “beautify” the place . . . he being paid $10,000 for his art out there . . .

 

See EVERYONE’s reaction . . . then EVERYONE starts talking at once, voicing their disgust . . . CAMERA VIEW CLOSES IN on PAUL and LYNN . . .

 

PAUL

On one hand, good teaching at a university that goes unrecognized . . . on the other, a fucking artist cashing in on my tuition and student fees . . .

 

LYNN

We should just forget about the rest of this meeting . . . the way this day has gone, I could sure use a beer . . .

 

See PAUL’s reaction . . .

 

EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - daytime

 

Numerous STUDENTS/SUPERNUMERARIES are walking between buildings.  The ARTIST waves directions with his arms while SUPERNUMERARIES are rolling the rocks accordingly.  After a change, ARTIST stands back, studies the area, and then starts waving directions again . . . and again . . . and again . . .

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

ANN is at the front of the class.  SUPERNUMERARIES fill the seats.  PAUL, BETH, and MIKE are standing in the back of the room.  KRISTIAN is standing by the closed door of the TA office.

 

ANN

OK, that's the last quiz question . . . please pass your papers to the left to be collected . . . the answers will be posted in a few minutes . . . my class of great

 

anatomists, you all have last week's quiz back and I am quite pleased with the results . . . if you have any questions, please see me . . . we are now half way through the semester . . .

 

PAUL

(from the back) Wahoo!

 

Laughter from the CLASS.

 

ANN

. . . thank you, Paul . . . don't mind him . . . the doctors say his condition is terminal . . . as I was saying, we are half way through the course and the practicum is soon upon us . . . now, as I do not allow panic in my class, there will be no fear . . . however, I understand the anxiety associated with this test, so we have set up a practice practicum in the back room . . . you all can get a feel for what it will be like . . . we will have one of these set up each week until the final practicum . . . all right, let's break up into our groups and get started . . .

 

The CLASS begins to disperse into five groups.  CAMERA VIEW focuses on ANN at the front desk . . . KRISTIAN enters CAMERA VIEW along with one of the students, ROBERT.

 

KRISTIAN

Ann, I take it you've already met my good friend, Robert Par.

 

ANN

Indeed, I have.  Rob, I thought you hung out with a better crowd . . .

 

KRISTIAN

Rob is a fellow material science engineer and one of the most intelligent people I know.

 

ANN

(looking at her grade sheet) Well, he certainly is the number one student in here.  You're applying to be an apprentice TA for next quarter, I hope.

 

 

ROB

I am . . . but I still have to do well in the class and I've heard that Beth is setting up the practicum I'm going to take . . . word is out she makes up the toughest practica around.

 

KRISTIAN

(doing a bad cowboy imitation)  That's right, partner.  Also, legend has it that from 100 yards away, she can shoot off a stallion's . . .

 

ANN

(interrupting) Rob, why don't you gather our group to the brachial plexus demo and I'll be there in a few minutes.

 

ROB exits CAMERA VIEW.  ANN picks up her papers and throws KRISTIAN a disgusted look as she heads toward the TA office. 

 

KRISTIAN

What did I say?

 

INT. TA OFFICE

 

NATALIA is in the office looking out the door.  ANN enters.

 

NATALIA

Ann, is this your lab?

 

ANN

Yeah.  Why?  What's up?

 

NATALIA

Oh, nothing . . .  

 

NATALIA starts fiddling with some papers in her TA box, not offering any more information.  ANN looks at NAT with one raised eyebrow.  ANN leaves the TA OFFICE.  NAT goes to a mirror, applies some lipstick, shifts her breasts in a tight, low cut shirt to accentuate her cleavage . . . then exits . . .

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

NATALIA stands next to the TA OFFICE, she is scanning the room for someone . . . CAMERA VIEW changes to MIKE who is teaching to a group of STUDENTS/SUPERNUMERARIES . . .

 

MIKE

Four of the muscles make up the most superficial layer, if you will, of the anterior antebrachial compartment . . .

 

ANN is seen walking by behind MIKE with a spray bottle . . . she is spraying some of the cadaver parts that are out on other tables . . . while MIKE is teaching, she starts watching and listening . . .

 

MIKE

You can remember where they attach and in what orientation by placing your thumb on the medial epicondyle of the humerus and letting your fingers gently rest on the antebrachium . . . see how that works . . . now, each finger represents one of the muscles . . . and if you remember PFPF, then you have the first letter of each muscle . . .

 

STUDENT

How am I going to remember that?

 

MIKE

Just think of the university football team . . . punt, fumble, punt, fumble . . .

 

The GROUP laughs . . . ANN is seen laughing too . . . she is about to leave to join her group of students, but she watches MIKE for a moment longer . . . CAMERA VIEW widens to see that NATALIA is also watching from behind the students . . . she flashes a smile at him . . .

 

EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - nighttime

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

CAMERA VIEW includes the entire lab . . . it is full of STUDENTS/SUPERNUMERARIES.  Body parts can be seen on a number of tables.  TA's are interspersed among the students answering questions and teaching.  CAMERA VIEW CLOSES on BETH and a few STUDENTS/SUPERNUMERARIES.

 

BETH

. . . now, point out the celiac trunk and its three branches . . .

 

Now . . . to PAUL and a couple of STUDENTS/SUPERNUMERARIES.

PAUL

. . . so the next thing I want you to do is trace a drop of fluid from the glomerulus to the urethra using this model . . .

 

Then . . . to KRISTIAN and a couple of STUDENTS/SUPERNUMERARIES.

 

KRISTIAN

. . . I'll buy a soda for the person who can name the eleven branches of the internal iliac artery . . .

 

CAMERA VIEW focuses on NATALIA who has her eyes on a MALE STUDENT/SUPERNUMERARY from a distance.  NAT has a pair of long forceps in her hand.  She makes her way toward him without STUDENT noticing then grabs between his legs with the forceps.  On STUDENT’s reaction . . .

 

NATALIA

Gotta keep you on your toes . . .

 

CAMERA VIEW focuses on the background where PAUL is seen looking at NAT and STUDENT . . . PAUL witnessed the entire event.

 

Later . . .

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

The lab is empty of students . . . KRISTIAN, RAE, ANN, and LYNN are in different parts of the lab, cleaning up parts, putting away bone boxes, etc.

 

INT. CADAVER ROOM

 

PAUL and BETH are at the sink, cleaning trays.

 

PAUL

. . . I saw the entire thing . . .

 

BETH

Come on . . . we’d better talk with the others . . .

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

BETH and PAUL walk through the cadaver room door.

 

 

BETH

People, we have a problem.

 

EVERYONE gathers around the door of the cadaver room next to BETH and PAUL. 

 

BETH

It would seem that Nat took it upon herself to make moves on one of the students during the open lab.

 

RAE

You’ve got to be shitting me . . .

 

KRISTIAN

What exactly happened?

 

PAUL

She grabbed him between his legs with a pair of forceps . . . then said "Gotta keep you on your toes." 

 

ANN

Tell me this isn't happening.

 

BETH

I can’t believe she assaulted another person like that . . . and what if he decides to press charges of sexual harassment against the lab and the program?  He has every right to . . . we are in a buttload of trouble . . .

 

PAUL

Yeah, well, that's where the story gets even more interesting.  I talked to the student after the open lab and confronted him about the incident . . . you know, to apologize for Nat's behavior . . . and to see where he stood on this whole thing.  He said he wasn't going to make any noise because he might qualify to be an apprentice TA and he's afraid that if he makes this into a big deal, it will ruin his chances.  As far as he's concerned, it's a dead issue.

 

 

 

 

 

KRISTIAN

I think this has gone far enough.  Natalia hasn't been fulfilling her lab duties and she's putting the program in jeopardy.  We've go to talk to Tom.

 

BETH

You know what he's going to say . . . he's too damn nice . . . he will give her a million chances before firing her . . .

 

KRISTIAN

She shows up late . . . she leaves early . . . I mean, where the fuck is she now . . . she should be here cleaning up . . . she doesn't train her apprentices adequately . . . she's missed two meetings . . . never volunteers to proctor exams . . .

 

LYNN

I'm sick and tired of her using the lab as her own personal hunting grounds.  She picks up a check . . . we get paid the same . . . and she does one-fifth of the work . . .

 

ANN

Maybe we should all talk to Natalia . . . maybe she'll change if we put pressure on her.

 

PAUL

Don't count on it . . . what we say won't matter because she knows we can't fire her and that Tom won't . . .

 

RAE

We don't have a lot of options, do we?

 

LYNN

I'll go call her. (exit toward TA office)

 

RAE

(calling after LYNN)  She won't be home . . . (to the others) . . . she's never home . . .

 

The door to the lab opens and NATALIA enters.  A MALE SUPERNUMERARY/APPRENTICE TA is close behind.  NAT doesn't notice the others at first.

 

 

NAT

(to male SUPERNUMERARY) . . . then we can go to my place and . . . (she sees the others . . . on her reaction)

 

BETH

Nat . . . can we speak to you . . . privately?

 

NAT

(beat) I don't know . . . I'm really busy . . .

 

KRISTIAN

Now.

 

ANN

(to the male SUPERNUMERARY)  Could you wait in the TA office just for a sec?  Thanks.  (toward the office)  Lynn, Nat's here.

 

Male SUPERNUMERARY goes into TA office while LYNN comes out and joins the group.

 

BETH

We need to talk about something very serious. 

 

PAUL

Oh, let's stop with the pleasantries . . . I saw you grab a guy between the legs in the middle of open lab . . . this behavior is not only assaultive, but also in this day and age of everyone being hypersensitive to sexual harassment, we just can't have this type of indiscretion . . .

 

NAT

I don't know what you are talking about . . . oh, sure, I kind of brushed one of the student's legs with my own . . . but it was a crowded open lab . . .

 

PAUL

You are full of shit . . . you grabbed his dick . . . he’s a student and you are one of his teachers . . . don’t you get it?  This act was inappropriate and jeopardizes this program . . .

 

 

KRISTIAN

. . . a program with which I have been involved with for 3 years . . . one that I'm proud of . . . I expect you to formally apologize to this student with me as a witness and you will discontinue this behavior . . . you are not allowed to hit on the students . . . have I made myself clear?

 

NAT

Your attempt to intimidate me isn't working, Klaus . . . nor is this little bit with the rest of you ganging up on me . . . you people are wasting my valuable time . . . it's my word against Paul's that this event even took place . . . and I reiterate that I simply brushed up against the guy, therefore, there is no need for an apology. . . (beat) is the student making a big deal out of this . . . (no response from others) . . . I didn't think so . . look, this inquisition is fun and all, but I have things to do . . .

 

BETH

Nat, we have some other issues to discuss . . . we're not through yet . . .

 

NATALIA

I am.

 

NAT goes to back of the room, picks up a skull, then goes to the door to the TA office.

 

NAT

(calling toward the office) Ready to go.

 

MALE SUPERNUMERARY comes out of the office, then he and NAT exit the lab through the main door.

 

LYNN

That went well.

 

ANN

I can't believe that smug bitch.  I could rip her larynx out with my own two hands.

 

 

 

 

 

PAUL

Ann, Ann . . . you are forgetting the cliché of don't mutilate, get even.  All we have to do is tell her boyfriend that she is fraternizing . . .

 

RAE

It's more complicated than that.  Her boyfriend doesn't like us much.  He thinks it's our fault that she doesn't spend a lot of time with him.  I have a feeling he wouldn't believe us.  And we are still not solving the most serious issue . . . we can't have her doing shit like this. 

 

KRISTIAN

We all need to keep a closer eye on her.  Document any time that she does anything that could be interpreted as harassment including this incident.  Maybe at least that way, we can show that she is the only one who is involved in this type of activity and the program will be spared.

 

BETH

Good idea.  In the meantime, we also are going to have to cover her lab duties as she obviously has no intention of doing them herself. 

 

PAUL

Beth, you and I can train her apprentices . . .

 

ANN

Looks like one of them is already getting some private training . . . OK . . . I can take care of the cadaver room myself . . .

 

KRISTIAN

The rest of us can cover for her as necessary.

 

The sound of the front door of the anatomy lab opening is heard . . . MIKE walks in . . . the group greets him . . .

 

LYNN

Sounds like we've got things solved . . . for now.  Come on guys.  Enough of this downer stuff.  Let's go eat.

ANN

(to MIKE) Would you like to join us?

 

MIKE

Sure, I’d love to . . .

 

BETH

Lynn, you are a man after my own stomach . . . and a super guy to boot . . .

 

LYNN

(CAMERA VIEW focuses on LYNN taking a "Superman" stance, staring at a distant point)  That's me.  Faster than a cheating student, more powerful than the alcohol stench in the lab, able to leap cadaver tanks in a single bound . . . Hey . . .

 

CAMERA VIEW WIDENS to show LYNN by himself and the main lab door shutting.  LYNN runs out of CAMERA VIEW toward the door . . .

 

EXT. DOUBLE M - nighttime

 

LYNN, PAUL, KRISTIAN, RAE, BETH, MIKE, and ANN are seen walking in . . .

 

INT. DOUBLE M

 

EVERYONE sits down.  ANN sees dried blades of grass in BETH's hair and proceeds to pick them out. 

 

ANN

Hmmm . . . did you and Klaus make a pit stop on the way over . . .

 

KRISTIAN and BETH look at each other and each one simultaneously lifts their eyebrows.  ANN slugs KRISTIAN in the arm. 

 

ANN

Way to not invite me!

 

KRISTIAN

(grabbing ANN's arm) Come on, your turn.

 

ANN frees her arm from KRISTIAN's grasp and gets the rest of the grass out of BETH's hair.

 

 

PAUL

Well, this is too much fun . . . (getting up)

 

LYNN

Hey, man . . . where are you going?

 

PAUL

Gotta call my wife . . . let her know where I am . . .

 

LYNN

Talk about whipped . . .

 

PAUL

Yeah, yeah . . . bite me . . .

 

PAUL leaves the table.

 

BETH

(pulling a book out of her black bag) Well, no sense in wasting time.  Come on.  Let's do some embryology.

 

ANN

You've got to be kidding.  I'm so beat from our study session last night I could sleep standing.

 

LYNN

Man, embryology lab is such a fucking waste of time.

 

ANN

So, Lynn, tell us how you really feel.

 

CAMERA VIEW changes to another part of Double M where PAUL is on the phone . . .

 

PAUL

I should be home in a couple of hours . . . (beat) yeah, I need to finish that paper . . . I love you too . . . bye . . .

 

CAMERA VIEW follows PAUL back to the group.  MIKE, RAE, and KRISTIAN are talking, but their conversation is muffled.   PAUL sees ANN and BETH with their heads down on the table with LYNN trying to ask questions from a book.

 

 

 

PAUL

(sitting) God, Lynn, what did you say to them?

 

LYNN

I told them that the one who was the quietest got to sit on my lap during dinner.

 

KRISTIAN

Well, the one who walks the sexiest gets to sit by me at dinner.

 

The GROUP erupts into conversation . . . MIKE turns to ANN . . .

 

MIKE

So, is this a typical outing with you guys?

 

ANN

Yeah, pretty much . . . scary, ain’t it?

 

MIKE

Actually, I think that “fascinating” is a better adjective . . .

 

ANN

(beat) It’s going to be so heartbreaking when we all go our separate ways . . . I’ll lose my movie partner when Beth leaves . . . by the way, I was wondering if you would be interested in seeing the new action flick with me that just came out last weekend . . . Beth refuses to see it . . .

 

MIKE

Oh yeah . . . that movie . . . what’s it called? . . . “Faster” . . . I’d love to go . . . say, tomorrow?

 

ANN

Tomorrow would be great . . .

 

On ANN and MIKE’s reaction . . .

 

EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - nighttime

 

The night sky is clear with a full moon shining brightly.  ANN and MIKE are walking toward the “rock and block” garden. 

 

 

MIKE

That’s amazing . . . I can’t name off a single movie you haven’t seen . . .

 

ANN

Well, there are some of the gorier ones that I try to avoid, but Beth usually ends up dragging me to them.

 

MIKE

And you don’t have a boyfriend . . .

 

ANN

What does that have to do with movies?

 

MIKE

Nothing . . . I was just curious . . .

 

ANN

I don’t have much luck with guys . . . (she climbs onto one of the blocks)

 

MIKE

That’s probably because they are intimidated by you . . . I mean, you’re smart, you’re applying for medical school . . . (on ANN’s reaction) you can dance and you are a movie buff . . . that’s a lot for a guy to take . . . (he also climbs onto a block)

 

ANN

(beat) Wasn’t that the greatest scene from the movie . . . when the RV made it over that wide jump . . . (she jumps from one block to another)

 

MIKE

You don’t really believe that could happen, do you . . . I mean, did you see the angle the RV was at?  (follows ANN’s lead, jumps to another block) No way it could have made it in real life . . .

 

ANN

(jumping from block to block) Hey, now . . . I go to movies to escape reality . . . I’m going to write one someday . . .

 

 

 

MIKE

(also jumping from block to block) I’ve seen you watching the others at the Friday meetings . . . are you gathering material for a potential script . . .

 

ANN

Not necessarily . . . I just like to people watch . . . (beat) it would seem that I’m not the only one . . .

 

ANN and MIKE land on the same block.  They grab onto each other to keep from falling.  MIKE brushes a lock of ANN’s hair away from her face, then he kisses her.  

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

Loud music is heard in the background.  TOM, ANN, LYNN, PAUL, KRISTIAN, BELISSA and SUPERNUMERARIES are seen throughout the room grading examinations.  BELISSA walks over to LYNN.

 

BELISSA

May I say that this is quite an intriguing event.

 

LYNN

What? 

 

BELISSA

This "final's grading party."  I highly doubt there is anything like it on the rest of the campus.

 

LYNN

Oh . . . yeah . . . hey, the best part is still to come . . .

 

BELISSA

What's that?

 

LYNN

You'll understand what I mean before we are done grading . . . (looking up)  oh, yes, the lab mutha provides!

 

RAE and BETH enter the lab through the main door carrying food.  They take it to the front table.

 

 

RAE

(with a southern drawl)  Come and get it!

 

Some PEOPLE go to the front of the room to get food. 

 

BELISSA

(to LYNN)  Is this the best part?

 

LYNN

Not yet.

 

BETH

(standing on the front table)  OK, everyone . . . while people are getting food, let's find out who has the most humorous answer from a student on this semester's final . . . any entries?

 

PAUL

(running from the back of the room)  I've got it!  And I dare any of you to top this one . . . (drawing the pelvic bones and femurs on the board)  You know how the students are supposed to draw the anterior thigh muscles with the proper attachments on the pelvic bones and femurs, right? . . . well, this is the answer I got . . . (draws a square muscle connecting the two femurs)  My friends, I present to you . . . the vastus virginalis.

 

Applause, cheers, and laughs from the room.

 

PAUL

Thank you, thank you . . .

 

ANN

That's pretty good, Paul . . . discovering a new anatomical structure . . . I think we should name it after you . . .

 

LYNN

In that case, we'll have to call it the vastus virginalis brevis . . .

 

PAUL

If that's a short joke, you're life may end up being brevis . . .

 

 

 

BELISSA

(to LYNN) Is this the best part?

 

LYNN

Not yet . . . (to BETH) Hey, let's get on to the important contest!

 

BETH

Give it up, Lynn.  The all time champion has never been beaten!

 

LYNN

But I've been training all semester . . . let's get to it!

 

BETH

All right, Lynn, you asked for it . . . (to the entire room)  Fellow finals graders . . . there is a tradition in this lab that has lasted since Tom started teaching anatomy . . . at the end of every semester, each anatomy TA has a chance to challenge their own anatomy in a test of endurance . . . no one is obligated to participate . . . this is a purely voluntary event . . . if you do choose to undertake this task, we ask that you place one dollar in a community pot . . . winner takes all . . .

 

LYNN

(running up to the front, slapping a dollar on the table)  I'm in!  And THIS semester I will be world champion.

 

A number of PEOPLE go up to the front, putting money on the table.

 

BELISSA

(yelling over the din)  Hey . . . what's the challenge . . what do we have to do?

 

BETH

You'll see Belissa.

 

BELISSA sees ANN grading papers and eating food and crosses to her.

 

BELISSA

Aren't you going to participate?

 

ANN

I can't . . . my dentist said I completely wrecked my jaw last time . . . she told me not to participate anymore if I want to continue chewing . . . besides, it's my turn to hand out the ice packs . . .

 

BELISSA

Your jaw? . . . And ice packs? . . . is everyone going to box each other or something . . . and the last one standing gets the money . . .

 

ANN

Not exactly . . .

 

BETH, RAE, TOM, LYNN, and some SUPERNUMERARIES are seen with the entire ends of soda cans in their mouths.  One SUPERNUMERARY takes the can out of his mouth, lets out a gasp, and rubs his jaw.  ANN walks over.

 

ANN

(hands SUPERNUMERARY an ice pack)  Good job . . . you lasted longer than most . . .

 

BETH takes the can out of her mouth then looks at her watch while rubbing her jaw.

 

ANN

You did it Beth!  You beat your best time!

 

BETH tries to smile, but ends up wincing in pain. 

 

More time passes and TA’s/SUPERNUMERARIES are seen taking the cans out of their mouths until there are only 2 left . . . TOM and LYNN.  LYNN is seen rubbing his jaw and sweating.

 

BETH

You'll never beat him, Lynn . . . Tom could sit there like that until next term and it wouldn't bother him . . . he's got the jaw of a snake!

 

LYNN is seen scowling.  LYNN stands up, walks around, looking agitated.  After a short time, he starts jumping up and down, then finally, takes the can out of his mouth.  Cheers and applause are heard. 

 

 

 

TOM goes to the front of the room, picks up a pile of money, and finally takes the can out of his mouth.  ANN hands an ice pack to TOM . . . ANN then takes two ice packs to LYNN who immediately puts them on either side of his face.

 

ANN

You put up a good fight, Lynn . . . Tom just can't be beaten . . .

 

On LYNN’s reaction . . .

 

CAMERA VIEW follows ANN as she goes back to her desk to continue grading papers.  BETH joins her. 

 

BETH

Come on, Ann . . . how did your date with Mike go?

 

ANN

It wasn’t a date, per se . . . we just went to see a movie . . .

 

PAUL (V.O.)

Did he kiss you good-night?

 

PAUL and KRISTIAN sit on either side of ANN.

 

ANN

Does it really matter if . . .

 

KRISTIAN

More importantly, did he give you any tongue?

 

BETH

Klaus!

 

ANN

Do you mind?  Look . . . you know my track record with guys . . . I like him a lot, but I don’t want to get my hopes up, OK?

 

PAUL

Sorry, Ann . . .

 

KRISTIAN

Me, too . . .

 

ANN

It’s OK . . .

 

KRISTIAN

So about the tongue thing . . .

 

In exasperation, ANN puts her head in her hands.  BETH slugs KRISTIAN in the arm.  KRISTIAN shrugs.

 

INT. ANATOMY LAB

 

Christmas decorations adorn the lab walls.  RAE is taking down the decorations.  LYNN is mopping/sweeping the floor.  TOM, KRISTIAN, and PAUL are surrounding an open cadaver tank.  KRISTIAN is at one end of the tank, holding the bar that lifts the body.  PAUL is at the other end, doing the same.  TOM is standing behind the tank.

 

TOM

(looks at PAUL)  Ready, Paul?

 

PAUL

I'm ready.

 

TOM

(looks at KRISTIAN)  Ready, Kristian?

 

KRISTIAN

Aye, aye, captain.  (to PAUL) Hoist away!

 

They each push the bars down, the body comes up, revealing BETH lying on the platform.

 

KRISTIAN

Looks like the cables are strong enough.

 

PAUL

Klaus, we do good work . . . our repairs make lifting the platform a hell of a lot easier.

 

TOM

And, if it's clean enough for Beth to lie in, it's clean enough for use next semester.

 

BETH

Nothing is ever clean enough for me . . . by the way, do you have this in a larger size?  It's a little cramped in here.

 

 

 

 

 

PAUL

Well, ma'am, we could custom make one for ya, but that will cost ya extra.  Plus it will take a few weeks to have it delivered from the factory . . . I really think this is you . . .

 

BETH

Mmmmm . . . All right . . . I'll take it . . . but I want it in black.