The Sand Hill Review          http://www.sandhillreview.org              2004

 

Remnants

 

May these arms that now cradle

remnants of ragged

guilt that hiss

like a gas burner the moment before light

lift upward, swing

into a sky made open.

 

Miraculous that words spoken can open

memory of an empty cradle

useless to swing,

bring out my ragged

sobs into the light,

my guilt receding like the shore waves’ hiss.

 

Telling at last my his-

tory, I felt my body open,

releasing grief that like a stone rolled into light,

while a friend cradled

me in his arms and let my ragged

breath ease into a steady swing.

 

Only death is final. Memories swing

back to the hiss

of ignorant complicity and the ragged

contractions as my body opened

for a child that would never fill a cradle,

never see the light.

 

I cannot make light

of the pendulum swing

that lets me now cradle

for words like gold as sluice waters hiss

over grief once raw as rocks laid open,

the edges of memory ragged.

 

I want to render my ragged

tatters of grief into a substance light

as the leaves that lie open

to the sun and swing

with a sibilant hiss

in their airy cradle.

 

My cradled flame of memory is ragged,

but will persist until the hissing wick dims its light,

the sky swings open.

 

Maureen Eppstein