The Sand Hill Review               http://www.sandhillreview.org 2010

Staying Under

In the shallow end of the public swimming pool,

I stood unseen behind my two older sisters,

my head just above water. They counted to three and

we all went under. My eyes closed against the chlorine

I pictured the sun on its surface, their faces

when I won. When I reached out to see if they were there;

my hands touched nothing. Then with both hands

I held my breath down

until I couldn’t feel it matter.

My mother remembers the lifeguard bulleting into the pool

& how her body felt like the gun that fired him, hard and

still.

She remembers a blue daughter coming out of the water,

CPR & vomiting. My sisters remember a girl dumb

enough

to drown herself in three feet of water. I remember myself as

the blue between sky and water. The dry concrete lip.

Rita Mae Reese