The Sand Hill Review               http://www.sandhillreview.org              2011

 

 

 

 

Luscious Lola

 

Bardi Rosman Koodrin

 

 

Once upon years past, Lola La-La Boom D-A took to the pole for her very first time.  She was a fresh-faced sixteen-year-old from some corn-fed state, Iowa I think she said, straight off a bus in North Beach, Frisco, maybe three, four years after WW2.  This bein’ her first time and all, she came on stage blushin’ shy, so I tells the boys to quit their howlin’ and give her a break.

This bein’ the early early show no music was playinexceptin’ our smackin’ lips, but she moved to a natural rhythm, uncoilin’ like a snake cravin’ heat.  That girl was born to the metal like she learnt it at Momma’s knee – or from her old man’s belt buckle – since I heard from Lola’s own mouth that he was a son of a bitch slappin’ her around so bad she had to leave the farm. 

I’ll never forget her gold lam-ee costume with spangles tossin’ this way and that like she was the sun and the moon, and them pointy metal stars she stuck on for pasties didn’t do justice to the finest pair of titties I’ve ever had the privilege to behold then or since, and I was a Navy man who done saw a whole bunch of half-naked, bosom droopin’ South Sea islanders.

I gotta tell ya, Lola wrapped a thigh so high up that pole it gave me a rise and that was just her openin’ move on her first day.  I never seen a woman use her titties like fingers, massagin’ a straight rod into meltin’ question marks all us droolin’ dogs were fancyin’ in the priv-a-cy of our own soiled minds.  We each quick got out a dollar from our wallets ‘cuz offerin’ anything less to her would’a been an insult to a class-act lady as luscious as Lola.  That day, us big shots stood up to stuff our bucks into all her dee-lights but she weren’t ready for us yet.  No, Lola was becoming one with the pole like it was a spiritual awakenin,’ like she’d known deep in her soul this was her comin’ home to the Creator day.

That girl may have been born Miriam Jane Woolitz, but I swear at that moment of her breakin’ first sweat and wettin’ that maiden pole, she got reborn as Lola La-La Boom D-A and no man alive would’a turned a blind eye.  Hell, a blind man would’a smelt the electricity she was a-whirlin’ around like a thunderstorm.  We was all cheering and that girl got us up to the highest heaven we ever knowedgrowen men beggin’ to die just to reach it first. I knocked over my whiskey and didn’t care a lick ‘cuz she stopped dancin’ to give me such a smile I would’a poured out the whole bottle to get me another.  Just one of her smiles could’a lit up the entire South Pacific rim.

Lola was just gettin’ revved up but the regular girls got jealous.  Pom Pom Patty stormed on stage like she owned it and gave Lola her best bitch stare-down, but damned if Lola didn’t keep on inchin’ up that pole with the innocence of a busty child burstin’ into womanhood.  I hoped she’d pop right then and there, but the lights came up; the mornin’ show was over.  Some fat announcer told us to come back in an hour, an eternity by the looks of some old geezers blinkin’ in the harsh light of reality.  I was all set to bust down the stage door when she—

“Time to go to your room, Mr. Clarkson.  I’ll turn your wheelchair around.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Derek -- your attendant, remember?”

“Hell no, I ain’t gonna look at your ugly mug when I got the sexiest girl in the free world jigglin’ in front of me.  I ever tell you about Lola La La Boom D-A?”

“You gotta be kidding, did I ever hear of ... Ahh – no, Mr. Clarkson, I don’t think so.”

Lola took to the pole like a kitty to a teat.  There weren’t a one she didn’t melt in two seconds flat.  She’d get ‘em smokin’ so hot the fire chief had to haul his lazy ass off’a his stool and hose ‘em down, the poles that is. 

By the end of her first week, Lola was head-linindurin’ the choice hours on payday.  And I was there ever’ day and night, cheerin’ her on.  I gotta tell ya, Pom Pom Patty and all them other girls didn’t take kindly to such a young upstart’s messin’ with their regular client-tell. 

Those hissy cats was even tryin’ to knock Lola over durin’ her act.  That act was her only bread ‘n butter in a big cold town like Frisco.  That’s when I knewed Lola needed a protector so’s one day I jumped up on stage to offer myself to her.  Her smiles of gratitude for my bein’ there could’a tamed the nastiest bobcat, which them other broads sure was.  But they couldn’t dare claw Lola like they’s wanted to with me standin’ up for her. 

That was it.  From that moment of me holdin’ onto her and her pole for the very first time, I gave myself over to my Luscious Lola and –

“You don’t say, Mr. Clarkson.  Let’s get you back to the–”

Hey, what’s-your-name, I ever tell you about Lola La-La Boom D-A?  She was born to the metal.◊